Being honest to yourself is the first step, And here are some guide lines to remember.
1. Don't be afraid
2. Be honest and to others
3. Support your self
4. commitment
5. Don't let anyone judge you. Be yourself
This isn't easy as I thought it would be, but I need to be honest. To you and especially to myself. And i been through it alot over the years. But I have been put down, and being judged, and been taken advantage of. It's been a long time for me to get through it, but i survived it. And now i am making something for myself. I live in a good apartment complex, its even nice here at night. and not so hot. I like to sit on the porch and talk to god. that helps me talk about my feelings and how my day went. Today I didn't do much... I went to the gym, and then to the pool. Came home watched a movie. and walked around the complex. Anyways. I didnt see leonard today. Because last night he told me he has things to do. and wasnt sure when he will be home. But he said he would try. Ever since i met leonard, we have been hanging out almost every day. I met him almost a week ago now. And i said to myself that i didn't want to develop feelings for him, and love him. Turns out that i do have feelings for Len. But i don't love him. how do i explain this. well when i am alone in my apartment, and i am in bed. I can't seem to forget the day i had when i am with him. He is a really nice guy to me. And he treated me out to lunch on our second day of hanging out. We went to applebee's his first time being at the restaurant. I had the best day.
I want the commitment, and love someone again. And hopefully that will lead to something serious. But i don't know that yet. "I kylene want to have someone to love, and be with forever.... "
